Breaking Through The Wall (Guarded Hearts) Read online

  That was all he needed to hear. He slipped his hand behind my head and sat me up. Our lips only parted long enough for him to pull my t-shirt over my head. He was devouring me like he couldn’t get enough of me, and making me feel like I was the only thing that mattered. I can’t believe he was this attracted to me right now. I was wearing the rattiest set of clothes I had, because I could barely see straight when I got home. He unclasped my bra, before laying me back down. Thank god I don’t own a set of granny panties, because, with my luck, I would have probably had them on too.

  He was at an unfair advantage right now, though, and I needed his shirt gone too. I grabbed at the hem and he lifted himself up enough that I could pull it off. Damn, he was so sexy. I drug my fingernails down his chest, because I knew it drove him wild. He started pulling at my bottoms and took my underwear down with him. I was already soaked just thinking about what was coming, besides, hopefully, me.

  He stood up, unbuttoned his jeans, and pulled them down along with his boxers. I still couldn’t get over how big he was. I remember our first night, being scared that it was going to rip me in half. He smirked at me when he caught me staring and lowered himself back onto the couch. He started kissing my neck, nipping and sucking just the way he knew I loved it. Then he started to make his way down to my breasts.

  He grasped one with his hand, while he trapped the other nipple with his mouth. The combination of him rolling the nipple of my one breast, while sucking and dragging his teeth across the other one, was almost too much to take. He switched and captured the other one with his mouth, then began the same slow torture. When he started to kiss down my stomach, I knew where he was going and I knew that I wasn’t going to last long. His fingers found my clit and rubbed it in slow hard circles and that was it.

  “Jason! Shit!” The orgasm that hit me, rocked through my whole body and left me panting and out of breath. I looked down at him and he frowned. “What?”

  “You finished, before I could get down there, and I wanted to taste you. I guess I’m just going to have to get you there again, huh?”

  Again? This man was going to kill me. I was about to tell him he didn’t have to, when the flat of his tongue run up the length of me. I yelled out, because it felt so good and I was still so tender down there. He pulled back and his tongue made one more slow lick up me, but, this time, he stopped at my clit. He slipped two fingers inside of me and started to rub the opposite side of where my clit would be while his tongue went to work.

  He circled and licked me until I was ready to pass out from the feeling. “I know your close, baby; I can tell. I can’t wait to taste you when you let go.” If that wasn’t enough to push me over the edge, he started thrusting his fingers into me, hard, and sucked my clit into his mouth.

  “Oh, Fuck!” At this point, I think I actually saw stars. I could feel him licking up my juices and hear him making sounds of appreciation. This man was something else.

  He lifted his head up and looked at me, while he licked his lips. “Mmmm, tastes like candy.”

  He grabbed my arms and lifted me up off the couch, walking me over to the arm and turning me around. When he leaned down to kiss my neck, I sagged against him. He reached around and ran his hand down me. “Did this pussy miss me?”

  It mad me so hot when he talked like this; I loved it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned back into him, opening myself up to him even more. “Yeah, it did.”

  He drug his teeth over my earlobe, before placing a kiss on my neck. “Mmmmm, well I missed it. I’ve already showed it how much twice, but they say the third time is a charm.” He pushed my back down so that I was lying face down across the arm of the couch. “This is not going to be easy, baby. I’ve missed you too much.”

  I could feel his pulsing erection at my entrance, and I was more than ready for this. It had been all I thought about, since the last time we had done it. Jason tried his best to stay away from me, but, every once and a while, we would hook up.

  He always told me, it was because he couldn’t stay away from me. If that were true, though, then I wish he would just stop leaving. I felt him pull back and then, before I knew what happened, he slammed into me. “Shit, Nic! You are so goddamn tight.”

  I couldn’t even form words. At this point all I could do was make sounds of approval. At this angle, he was hitting the front wall of my pussy and it was heaven. I didn’t think it would be possible a couple minutes ago, but I’m gonna come again. Jason grabbed my bun that I had thrown my hair in and pulled on it. I had never had a guy pull my hair before, and, truthfully, I feel like my first reaction should have been to turn around and punch him. This, though, this felt good.

  “Jason, I’m gonna come again!” Just then, he reached around me and pinched my clit between his two fingers. That did it; I was now spiraling into my third and most intense orgasm of the night.

  “Fuck! Your pussy is squeezing my dick and it feels so fucking good.” He thrust into me a couple more times and then I felt him jerk. He groaned loud and I could feel his hot liquid filling me up.

  He collapsed down on top of me, while we both caught our breath. I was scared to move, because, right now, was the usual time where things went to shit. He would get all freaked out and start acting like a dickhead.

  Just then, his phone rang and we both jumped, he scrambled to get to his discarded jeans. “Hello?...Ok, what does that mean?...Do they know if she will be waking up soon?...Well, tell them to get their heads out of their fucking asses and figure it out!...Yeah, I know…Alright.”

  “What’s up?” I knew it was Carter and I was crossing my fingers that everything was ok with Mads.

  “Maddy is out of surgery, but Carter said that her doctor hasn’t really been in to talk with him yet. We should really leave to get down there.”

  I knew he was right, but I also knew he was using this as a way out. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him right now, though. I just wanted to get down there and see if Mads was ok. “Alright, I’ll get dressed, then we can head out.”

  I threw on some yoga pants and a t-shirt. I figured comfortable is better, because who knows how long we will be there. When we got in the car, he turned the radio on and I knew this was his way of avoiding talking.

  “J?”

  He glanced over at me and I knew that he didn’t want to have this discussion now, but that was too fucking bad.

  ”We need to talk about everything. I can’t keep doing this with you.”

  “You didn’t seem to be too reluctant a half hour ago.”

  He did not just fucking say that to me! Ugh! He could be such a damn pig sometimes, but I knew that was his intention; he wanted to scare me off.

  “I will let that comment slide this time, but I am not one of your skanks, so you need to watch how you speak to me. I get that you have commitment issues, but you know that there is something here. You can either keep fighting it or accept it. I’m not gonna wait around forever though J, so if you don’t want this, then don’t complain when I start bringing boyfriends out when we are all together.”

  I could tell that got to him; he was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were turning white. “Listen Nic, you knew what this was from the beginning. I’m not in the market for something serious. We have fun and it’s all good, but I’m not your prince charming. If you want one of those, you’re looking in the wrong place. With me, you get great fucking sex, not a happily ever after.”

  His jaw was so tight from clenching his teeth and I knew that I was not going to get anywhere with him tonight.

  “If that’s how you feel, Jason, then fine.” I was done trying to talk any sense into him; it was fucking useless. Two can play his game, though. Lets see how he handles it when I start bringing prince charmings around.

  Just then, the song Clarity by Zedd featuring Foxes came on. If this song wasn’t perfect, I don’t know what would be. I just sat there and listened to this girl sing her heart out about every emotion that was swirlin
g around in my head. She was singing about how if their love was so bad and wrong how come it felt so right. I knew that J thought that he was doing the right thing. He was trying to convince himself that he didn’t need me and could resist me.

  I couldn’t wait to show him just how wrong he was.

  Chapter 2

  Carter

  If one more nurse or doctor told me that they didn’t know what was going on, I was going to fucking flip out! This shit was crazy! Maddy got out of surgery almost an hour ago, and all I’ve found out was her room number. So many people have been in and out checking on her, but no one will talk to me.

  I can’t believe I’m here in a hospital; waiting for her to wake up again. I was barely able to handle it last time. I sent J a text, letting him and Nic know the room number and asking him to grab a couple of things from the house for me. Now, all I could do was wait for her to wake up.

  She looks so tiny and fragile lying there and all I wish right now was that I could take her place. After everything that has happened, I thought we were finally ok. I had found out Chris was leaving and we were planning on spending the whole summer together. Now, I am sitting here hoping that she will at least get to spend the summer out of this hospital bed.

  Her forehead has a huge gash on it, along with some minor cuts and bruises on her face. Her left arm is in a sling and a cast. All I need right now is for her to open her eyes. I won’t be able to relax until she does, because the truth is, the longer she doesn’t, the less chance she will be ok. I need her to be ok, if she isn’t…

  “Mr. James?” A doctor I haven’t seen before comes in and checks Maddy’s vitals.

  I look up at him and nod, praying that he will have some information for me.

  “My name is Dr. Michaels, and I’m the one who operated on your wife. I know they haven’t told you much about her condition, but that’s what I’m here for, I’m sorry it took me so long. Your wife suffered a pretty nasty blow to the head and suffered some internal bleeding in the accident. We have stopped the bleeding and stabilized her. Her left shoulder was dislocated and her arm was fractured. She has a couple bruised ribs, but, luckily, they aren’t broken. Also, she had multiple cuts and bruises.”

  Oh God. I didn’t even know one person could have that many damn injuries. “Is she going to be okay?”

  “It’s hard to say right now; we really won’t know much else until she wakes up and we can examine her.”

  That’s all I need too; I just need to see her. ”Do you have any idea when she will wake up?”

  “Unfortunately, that is something that is up to her. Her body is healing and she will wake up when she is ready. There is one other thing, though, Mr. James. Did you know that your wife was pregnant?”

  WHAT? Maddy is pregnant? I’m going to be a father? I stare down at the woman I love, laying in the hospital bed, and I am in shock. I can’t believe this; I can’t believe that we are going to have a baby together. Not that I think we are in any way ready, but we will work through it. Why wouldn’t she have told me that she was pregnant?

  Then my brain registered what his exact words were. He said your wife was pregnant. I am scared to even ask him what that meant right now. The only thing I can manage, is to lift my head to look at him.

  “I am judging by your reaction, that you didn’t.”

  I just shake my head no. I am silently praying that the next words out of his mouth aren’t going to be what I think they are.

  “When you are this early in the pregnancy, trauma like this is very dangerous. We tried to help her, but by the time she had gotten to us she already lost the baby. I’m so sorry to be the one to tell you this. I understand that you will need some time alone to process all of this. If you have any questions, the nurses can reach me.”

  He walks out of the room and all I could do was stare in disbelief. Maddy had been pregnant. I wonder if she knew. I can’t believe this. There was nothing I could do now to save our baby, or save Maddy the pain of what I will need to tell her when she wakes up. I clasped her hand in mine, laid my head on the bed, and wept for our child.

  I woke up, when I heard arguing coming down the hall, that must mean Jason and Nicole are here. They walked in but both stopped talking when they saw her.

  Nicole came to me first and wrapped her arms around me. I winced as she squeezed my shoulder.

  “Shit, Carter, I’m sorry. How is she?”

  “She’s ok, right now. She had some internal bleeding, which they fixed, her arm is fractured, and she has a bunch of cuts and bruises. There is something else, though.” I paused, not really sure how to continue. They both looked up at me. I guess they could tell from my tone that it was going to be bad. “Apparently, Maddy was pregnant.”

  I saw them smile at first, but then a look of realization hit them. Jason walked over to me. “Was?”

  “Yeah, she umm…she had a miscarriage.”

  Nicole sank down in the chair and started to cry. I would have probably joined her, but I didn’t think I had any left. J walked over to her and put his arm around her. After about five minutes, Jason looked up at me and I swear I saw tears in his eyes. “Carter, I uh…I brought that stuff you asked for.” He nodded to a bag next to him on the floor.

  “Thanks, J.”

  “Listen, I’m gonna take Nic home for a little. Will you call us if anything changes?” It made me happy that he was being considerate enough right now to take care of her.

  “Jason, no I’m not going all the way back to my house. I want to be close so when she wakes up, I can be here.”

  I could see him struggling with something in his head. I was about to tell him to take her to our house, because there was no way in hell I was leaving this hospital without Maddy.

  Then, Jason turned to Nicole and pulled her to her feet. “It’s fine, I’ll take you back to my place. Come on.”

  They both hugged me before they left and made me promise to call if anything changed.

  I went through the bag that Jason had brought me; it was basically just clothes and things. All except the one thing I really wanted, I pulled out the jewelry box and went to sit next to Maddy. They say when a person is unconscious they can still hear you talking to them and it helps, so that’s what I planned to do. I sat down next to her in the chair and grabbed her hand.

  “So, when we were at my Dad’s house at Christmas he pulled me aside. He told me that he had always saved my mom’s ring for when someone special came around and he knew they would cherish it as much as he did. Well, he knew how much we loved each other, and he loves you too. He gave me this ring and told me that when I was ready to ask you, he would be honored if I gave you my mom’s ring. All the times I had envisioned doing this, I had never thought it would be in a hospital room and that you would be unconscious.”

  I took a deep breath and hoped that she could hear every word I was saying. “I love you so much, Madison. I love the smile you get when I give you a first. I love how much you have opened up to me and trusted me. You are the reason that I breathe, and when I thought you were gone; I was lost. You are my entire world and I swear, as soon as you wake up, there won’t be a second of your life that you don’t know it. I know that you always thought that I had saved you, but you were the one who saved me. You saved me from a life without love, and you filled this last year of my life with some of the best memories I could hope for. I cannot wait to make you mine in front of everyone, and spend the rest of our lives together. All you need to do now is open your eyes, baby I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  I slipped the ring onto her left hand and kissed it. Just then, I heard movement behind me and saw three nurses standing there wiping tears from their eyes. Well, at least someone was here to enjoy my proposal.

  Jason

  Why in the hell did I volunteer to have her stay at my place? I could have easily just taken her to Carter’s house, but no, I’m having her stay here in my apartment. Meanwhile, I can’t stop fucking thinking about getti
ng back inside her.

  I know that I’m hurting her with all this back and forth shit. I can’t stay away from her, but at the same time, I’m just no good for her. I know she doesn’t get it and she thinks I’m just being a dick, but if I didn’t care, then I wouldn’t worry whether or not I was good for her.

  “Hey, J?”

  I looked up and she was staring at me. “Yeah?”

  “Listen, I know you probably meant well by offering, but if having me here is going to make things awkward, I don’t have to stay.”

  “No, it’s cool, Nic. I’m sorry it’s just been a really long day.”

  She sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “I know you said you saw everything when it happened. Do you wanna talk about it?”

  I ran my hands over my face and looked up at her. “It’s my fault she was in that wreck, Nic. I was late, I wasn’t there when Chris got there.”

  “Jason, if you had been there you might have been hurt like Carter was. Chris was on a mission tonight and I doubt anybody could have stopped him.”

  She was wrong; I would have stopped that motherfucker. “I know that, in the end, it was Chris’s fault, but knowing that she was going through that alone is killing me. I should have been there and I wasn’t. The thing that is really making me crazy is to know that I missed being there for her just because I was on a date with some fucking bimbo.”

  Her head snapped up and she shot me a look. “I’m sorry. You were doing what?”

  Shit. I looked at her and couldn’t tell if she was pissed or hurt. Then her hand came flying and smacked me across the cheek. Pissed. She was definitely pissed.

  “Are you fucking kidding me, J?! You were on a date? Yet, every time I talk to you, you give me some bullshit line about not being ready! I’m going to shower, go to bed, and when I get up in the morning, I’m getting the fuck out of here!” She grabbed her bag, stormed off to the bathroom, and slammed the door.